Day 81-89 Weigh-in #13

Last week I weighed myself and gained a pound.  Yeah I know how disappointing, right?  I'm not giving up.  My mother-in-law swears my husband and I are going to give up but I told her last week I can't.  I have BIG plans and goals and they do not revolve around me being overweight.  I think her point was to encourage us to continue.  My father-in-law is really proud of my husband's weight loss and really hopes he continues.  I know as long as I continue to fight, my husband will also.  I think if I give up then he will too and vise verse.  We're not mimicing eat other actions but we know we are in battle together and if one goes down the other mya unintentionally. 

On a more exciting note my mother told me she looked at a picture of me from June 2009 and she couldn't believe her eyes.  She said she can see my weight loss from eight months ago.  That was very exciting to hear!  My mom always encouraged me to lose weight as an adult.   When I was a kid she didn't know how to handle me because I was bigger than my older sister.  I wasn't fat I was just two sizes bigger than her.  When my mother and father got married, my mother was tiny.  My oldest sister, being my parents first child, inherited my mother's tiny waistline.  I, on the other hand, inherited my father's expanding waistline and appetite.  My theory is that my mother, not being a big girl, didn't know how to handle a big girl so sometimes she said hurtful things to me regarding my weight as a child.  One day I told my mother, if a person doesn't like the way I look then they can close their eyes.  I was lucky she didn't knock my teeth out! LOL  I've always been a big girl but I'm not ashamed of who I am or what I look like.  I've never been one of those women on TV crying because I never had a boyfriend or had trouble in school because of my weight.  I have a BIG mouth and always said what I was thinking and if someone would hint at my weight, they would get the wrath of Zipporah all over them!  So, I wasn't bullied or picked on in school because I would hurt you if you cross the line.  Also, despite what society says about fat people, I know I'm beautiful.  Not on the inside only and not from the neck up.  Every part of is beautiful.  Every roll, strech mark and even the cellulite on my thighs.  It's funny because I remember thinking like this when I grew up but somewhere down the line, I forgot how I accepted myself and didn't care about what people thought.  As I got older I became too concerned with people's feeling and placed their feelings over me.  Wow!  I can't believe I'm just realizing the situation I placed myself in.  Anyway, I off on a tangent, which I always do, but make sure you are proud of yourself no matter how you look or how big or small you are. Oh and if someone doens't like the way you look and they choose the verbilize it, make sure you turn around, wind up your fist and punch them right in their mouth! LOL

Anyway, a few weeks ago I read about a website called sparkpeople.com.  It's a way of tracking your food intake and excerise habits.  It's like Weight Watchers except it's free!  Yup, FREE.  Before I blogged about sparkpeople.com, I wanted to test it out for a few weeks.  I'm approching my third week and let me tell you it's a real eye-opener.  I've tracked my food for two weeks not and I see why I'm stuck going up and down 2 pounds.  I eat too much!  Yes, I already knew I ate too much but to see it on paper (or on the computer screen) has a disterbing effect on me.  I see now why I got to be over 300 pound in my 31 years on God's great Earth.  Sparkpeople gives you weekly goals:  calorie, fitness, reading, etc., and you have to reach those goals on a daily, weekly and yearly basis.  Well, I can't stay within my goals because I eat food that are too high in calories.  Here is a typically day for me. 

 Some days I start off doing really good but I always end the same way, eating junk at night!

You can see my calorie intake for the day and my daily goal.  This day I was really close to reaching my goal but then night fell and I fell with it.  This week, my goal is simple.  My goal is to reach my goals and not go over. 

This blog is way too long so I need to shut up now.  Check out http://www.sparkpeople.com/ and see if you like it.  It's really easy and you will get to know yourself a little better while trying to lose weight.  Also, I apologize for not posting more but my life is busy right now.  My main focus is finding a job!  Since I'm driving now, I want to go and do EVERYTHING but little funds equals little fun! 

God Bless guys and take care!