I just got home from my first day of Zumba class. I just have one word to describe it...AWESOME! I solicited one of my big girl friends and we shook what our mamas gave us all up and down the dance floor! I had a ball! Don't get me wrong I felt like I was working out but it was fun. Right now, my entire body is aching. Even my fingers! LOL. While in the class, I felt as if I wasn't working hard enough to get a good burn. I know I'm not a heavy sweater but I really wanted a high impact, keep-going-until-you-pass-out type workout. Well, I felt like I didn't get what I wanted out of the class until I stopped dancing. My hips and butt are hurting so much that I'm in pain while sitting writing this blog. I LOVE IT! Like I said, I'm not much of a sweater but I know I got a good dance in because my body is in pain.
I'm excited about doing Zumba because one of my readers told me that dancing helps with the lower body and, if you've read my past blogs, you know I'm struggling to get my lower body in shape. I'm going to take a picture of my butt once a month so I see that sucka shrink! I mean, don't get me wrong. I love the junk in my trunk and my hubby does also but a little less would be nice. Anyway, I love Zumba! Monday I'm going to do kick boxing and pick up Zumba twice a week and add more gradually.
The best thing about doing a class is you push yourself because of the people around you. I wanted to stop moving but I didn't. I did it for an hour! Typically, I would do cardio for twenty or thirty minutes max but since I was in a class full of people and they didn't stop I didn't want to stop. I felt I had to keep move and shaking with them. Now I can't wait until I really know the dance moves so I can really shake it all over that dance floor. MAN, I FEEL AWESOME!
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Monday, March 14, 2011
Day 99-102 Is it my turn yet?
How do you like the new blog look? I thought I would spruce things up a bit since this is round two.
Two weeks ago I had an interview with a very a prestigious international law firm. I was so excited! I researched this company for two day, gathered tons of information about the company and even practiced mock interviews with my husband. I did so much work so they would look at me and say this girl got the stuff. Last week, I followed up with the company to see if I made it to the second set of interviews and was told they liked me very much and had nothing negative to say about me. Well, today I called and found out that I didn't make it to the second interview. Out of the four people they selected, they choose two and I wasn't one of the two. I really wanted this job. I've been working hard to get a job in an international law firm that would take me and mold my career into something I've never seen before in my life. I couldn't wait to grow with this law firm and learn from them. I was dreaming about job and was extremely excited because I just knew I was going to get it. I had visions of me telling my Dad and him rejoicing with me because we always wanted this for me.
Since receiving this news a few hours ago, I've had some time to process my thoughts and I've came to a few conclusions. I've been unemployed for almost a year and I can get interviews but I can't get the job. Why? I haven't a clue! I've taken people's advice on how to conduct myself during an interview. I was told that I'm not confident so I change everything, cover letter, resume, to make sure confidence is radiating out of my body. Next I was told I didn't look "corporate" so I changed my look when I go on interviews. I wear my contacts, put my hair in a business-friendly style and wear a suit (as always). The only thing I refuse to do is dye my hair. My hair is black and naturally grey. It started changing colors when I was in high school from all black to strands of red and finally grey. Sometime you see it sometimes you don't. I refuse to dye my hair because a few years ago, I dyed my hair, got pregnant and discovered that dye and perms wasn't good to do when you're pregnant. Once I read this, I stopped and the growing-out process began. My hair went from black to green to yellow to gold. Finally my grey is grey again! I praying to be pregnant this year and going though that ugly growing-out phase isn't something I'm interested in. Anyway, that's the only suggestion I couldn't consider. Since, I've made the other changes people told me to make, I've concluded that corporate America just doesn't like the way I look and I believe it's tied into my weight.
Currently I weigh 324 pounds. I am morbidly obese. I have a big butt, big hips, big eyes, big legs, big feet, long arms, huge hands and super size breasts. This is me. I'm black and I look like a black woman with all the extras. If I was a skinny black woman then I might get the job but since I'm extra extra extra large my dream of working in a corporate law firm seams unreachable. I'm curious to know when I finally drop 100 pounds and I'm no longer morbidly obese, will job offers fall on me like the rain on an April day? I'm trying everything I can possible think of to get a job. For the past few months, I started looking outside of the legal world for a job. I'm applying for retail position and still can't get a job making minimum wage. No, I don't really want a retail job but I need a job like now!
Yesterday at my church, the pastor preached about not eating any more manner from heaven. Basically, he said that some of use don't need to be fed a prophecy about being successful anymore because now we're ready for the prophecy to come to past. I'm was flipping out because I knew he was talking to me! Ever since my husband and I got married, we've been prophesied to several times and we're still waiting. God, when am I going to get mine?
Two weeks ago I had an interview with a very a prestigious international law firm. I was so excited! I researched this company for two day, gathered tons of information about the company and even practiced mock interviews with my husband. I did so much work so they would look at me and say this girl got the stuff. Last week, I followed up with the company to see if I made it to the second set of interviews and was told they liked me very much and had nothing negative to say about me. Well, today I called and found out that I didn't make it to the second interview. Out of the four people they selected, they choose two and I wasn't one of the two. I really wanted this job. I've been working hard to get a job in an international law firm that would take me and mold my career into something I've never seen before in my life. I couldn't wait to grow with this law firm and learn from them. I was dreaming about job and was extremely excited because I just knew I was going to get it. I had visions of me telling my Dad and him rejoicing with me because we always wanted this for me.
Since receiving this news a few hours ago, I've had some time to process my thoughts and I've came to a few conclusions. I've been unemployed for almost a year and I can get interviews but I can't get the job. Why? I haven't a clue! I've taken people's advice on how to conduct myself during an interview. I was told that I'm not confident so I change everything, cover letter, resume, to make sure confidence is radiating out of my body. Next I was told I didn't look "corporate" so I changed my look when I go on interviews. I wear my contacts, put my hair in a business-friendly style and wear a suit (as always). The only thing I refuse to do is dye my hair. My hair is black and naturally grey. It started changing colors when I was in high school from all black to strands of red and finally grey. Sometime you see it sometimes you don't. I refuse to dye my hair because a few years ago, I dyed my hair, got pregnant and discovered that dye and perms wasn't good to do when you're pregnant. Once I read this, I stopped and the growing-out process began. My hair went from black to green to yellow to gold. Finally my grey is grey again! I praying to be pregnant this year and going though that ugly growing-out phase isn't something I'm interested in. Anyway, that's the only suggestion I couldn't consider. Since, I've made the other changes people told me to make, I've concluded that corporate America just doesn't like the way I look and I believe it's tied into my weight.
Currently I weigh 324 pounds. I am morbidly obese. I have a big butt, big hips, big eyes, big legs, big feet, long arms, huge hands and super size breasts. This is me. I'm black and I look like a black woman with all the extras. If I was a skinny black woman then I might get the job but since I'm extra extra extra large my dream of working in a corporate law firm seams unreachable. I'm curious to know when I finally drop 100 pounds and I'm no longer morbidly obese, will job offers fall on me like the rain on an April day? I'm trying everything I can possible think of to get a job. For the past few months, I started looking outside of the legal world for a job. I'm applying for retail position and still can't get a job making minimum wage. No, I don't really want a retail job but I need a job like now!
Yesterday at my church, the pastor preached about not eating any more manner from heaven. Basically, he said that some of use don't need to be fed a prophecy about being successful anymore because now we're ready for the prophecy to come to past. I'm was flipping out because I knew he was talking to me! Ever since my husband and I got married, we've been prophesied to several times and we're still waiting. God, when am I going to get mine?
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Day 90-98 Welcome Back...
I have so much to tell you guys! A lot has transpired over the past week and I'm proud of myself. First, I finally went to the GYM!!! I know, right?! Go me! Last Thursday, I decided to get up and go to the gym and my plan was to walk with my sister as she walked her son to the bus stop and then go straight to the gym. I knew getting out of the house would force me to go in the right direction. Anyway, my sister offered to go with me and we worked out for about an hour and fifteen minutes. How did it go? Well, the elipicial machine was too much for me to handle so I could only do it for 15 minutes. I remember when I was about 80 pounds lighter, the ellipicial machine was easy and I could go 30 minutes like it was nothing but not now. After the ellipicial machine, I moved to the stationary bike. I never really like stationary bikes but I got a good 20 minutes in. Finally, I moved on to weights to strengthen my legs and back. After all that I felt really accomplished and really good about myself. The next day I was in a little pain but mainly my lower body, which I didn't mind because I need my hips and buttocks to shrink.
This past Monday, I decided to go back to the gym but this time it was in the evening. I thought it would be less people there because I wanted to go wild and run on the treadmill. When I went to the gym last Thursday, I was too scared to try the treadmill because the strain on my knees were to excruciating to deal with. Well, Monday I decided to start with the treadmill and since the gym was empty, I decided to run a little. I ran a 3.5 for 15-30 seconds after which I stopped because two women walked in and I'm really self conscience of my body. I can't stand all the shaking especially my butt and boobs. When they walked in, they had to walk behind me in order to completely enter the gym and I was mortified because I didn't notice them, I had on my IPod, until they passed me. I know it's silly but I can't have someone around when my body is shaking excessively. It's embarrassing! Anyway, when I ran on the treadmill, I discovered that I could run...on a treadmill! My knees weren't popping and cracking or in pain. I'm glad I tried it besides, I figure if Aurthur on the Biggest Loser can run on a treadmill weighing over 400 pounds, then I can do it also.
Today I went back to the gym and it was a bit crowded. I didn't allow my psychoness to run me out of the gym this time. I walked in and went directly to the ellipicial machine. I set the time for 30 minutes but could only complete 20; however, the first day I went I could barely do five minutes. This was an improvement. After I worked on the ellipical machine, I began my 20 minute workout on the stationary bike and completed my work out with lifting weights.
Although I did not complete my journey of 100 pounds in 100 days, I have made some significant changes and improvements. I lost 15 pounds and have managed to keep within two or 3 pounds for two months. Today was my last weigh-in for the 100 pounds in 100 days challenge but I'm not anywhere done. For those of you following me to see if I could lose 100 pounds in 100 days, I apologize for not completing my journey. I do not apologize, however, for the goals, weights, accomplishments I've achieved. Since, I did not complete my jorney in the time promised, I am going to change the name of my blog so I will not promote false advertisement. I hope I've encourage many and helped other start their fight and continue fighting. I know I am because I rock and I'm worth it.
I hope you continue to follow me. My new blog name is 100 Pounds 100 Days-ish. LOL Lets see if I double this number and lose 30 pounds which will make my total 45!
This past Monday, I decided to go back to the gym but this time it was in the evening. I thought it would be less people there because I wanted to go wild and run on the treadmill. When I went to the gym last Thursday, I was too scared to try the treadmill because the strain on my knees were to excruciating to deal with. Well, Monday I decided to start with the treadmill and since the gym was empty, I decided to run a little. I ran a 3.5 for 15-30 seconds after which I stopped because two women walked in and I'm really self conscience of my body. I can't stand all the shaking especially my butt and boobs. When they walked in, they had to walk behind me in order to completely enter the gym and I was mortified because I didn't notice them, I had on my IPod, until they passed me. I know it's silly but I can't have someone around when my body is shaking excessively. It's embarrassing! Anyway, when I ran on the treadmill, I discovered that I could run...on a treadmill! My knees weren't popping and cracking or in pain. I'm glad I tried it besides, I figure if Aurthur on the Biggest Loser can run on a treadmill weighing over 400 pounds, then I can do it also.
Today I went back to the gym and it was a bit crowded. I didn't allow my psychoness to run me out of the gym this time. I walked in and went directly to the ellipicial machine. I set the time for 30 minutes but could only complete 20; however, the first day I went I could barely do five minutes. This was an improvement. After I worked on the ellipical machine, I began my 20 minute workout on the stationary bike and completed my work out with lifting weights.
Although I did not complete my journey of 100 pounds in 100 days, I have made some significant changes and improvements. I lost 15 pounds and have managed to keep within two or 3 pounds for two months. Today was my last weigh-in for the 100 pounds in 100 days challenge but I'm not anywhere done. For those of you following me to see if I could lose 100 pounds in 100 days, I apologize for not completing my journey. I do not apologize, however, for the goals, weights, accomplishments I've achieved. Since, I did not complete my jorney in the time promised, I am going to change the name of my blog so I will not promote false advertisement. I hope I've encourage many and helped other start their fight and continue fighting. I know I am because I rock and I'm worth it.
I hope you continue to follow me. My new blog name is 100 Pounds 100 Days-ish. LOL Lets see if I double this number and lose 30 pounds which will make my total 45!
Monday, February 28, 2011
Day 81-89 Weigh-in #13
Last week I weighed myself and gained a pound. Yeah I know how disappointing, right? I'm not giving up. My mother-in-law swears my husband and I are going to give up but I told her last week I can't. I have BIG plans and goals and they do not revolve around me being overweight. I think her point was to encourage us to continue. My father-in-law is really proud of my husband's weight loss and really hopes he continues. I know as long as I continue to fight, my husband will also. I think if I give up then he will too and vise verse. We're not mimicing eat other actions but we know we are in battle together and if one goes down the other mya unintentionally.
On a more exciting note my mother told me she looked at a picture of me from June 2009 and she couldn't believe her eyes. She said she can see my weight loss from eight months ago. That was very exciting to hear! My mom always encouraged me to lose weight as an adult. When I was a kid she didn't know how to handle me because I was bigger than my older sister. I wasn't fat I was just two sizes bigger than her. When my mother and father got married, my mother was tiny. My oldest sister, being my parents first child, inherited my mother's tiny waistline. I, on the other hand, inherited my father's expanding waistline and appetite. My theory is that my mother, not being a big girl, didn't know how to handle a big girl so sometimes she said hurtful things to me regarding my weight as a child. One day I told my mother, if a person doesn't like the way I look then they can close their eyes. I was lucky she didn't knock my teeth out! LOL I've always been a big girl but I'm not ashamed of who I am or what I look like. I've never been one of those women on TV crying because I never had a boyfriend or had trouble in school because of my weight. I have a BIG mouth and always said what I was thinking and if someone would hint at my weight, they would get the wrath of Zipporah all over them! So, I wasn't bullied or picked on in school because I would hurt you if you cross the line. Also, despite what society says about fat people, I know I'm beautiful. Not on the inside only and not from the neck up. Every part of is beautiful. Every roll, strech mark and even the cellulite on my thighs. It's funny because I remember thinking like this when I grew up but somewhere down the line, I forgot how I accepted myself and didn't care about what people thought. As I got older I became too concerned with people's feeling and placed their feelings over me. Wow! I can't believe I'm just realizing the situation I placed myself in. Anyway, I off on a tangent, which I always do, but make sure you are proud of yourself no matter how you look or how big or small you are. Oh and if someone doens't like the way you look and they choose the verbilize it, make sure you turn around, wind up your fist and punch them right in their mouth! LOL
Anyway, a few weeks ago I read about a website called sparkpeople.com. It's a way of tracking your food intake and excerise habits. It's like Weight Watchers except it's free! Yup, FREE. Before I blogged about sparkpeople.com, I wanted to test it out for a few weeks. I'm approching my third week and let me tell you it's a real eye-opener. I've tracked my food for two weeks not and I see why I'm stuck going up and down 2 pounds. I eat too much! Yes, I already knew I ate too much but to see it on paper (or on the computer screen) has a disterbing effect on me. I see now why I got to be over 300 pound in my 31 years on God's great Earth. Sparkpeople gives you weekly goals: calorie, fitness, reading, etc., and you have to reach those goals on a daily, weekly and yearly basis. Well, I can't stay within my goals because I eat food that are too high in calories. Here is a typically day for me.
Some days I start off doing really good but I always end the same way, eating junk at night!
You can see my calorie intake for the day and my daily goal. This day I was really close to reaching my goal but then night fell and I fell with it. This week, my goal is simple. My goal is to reach my goals and not go over.
This blog is way too long so I need to shut up now. Check out http://www.sparkpeople.com/ and see if you like it. It's really easy and you will get to know yourself a little better while trying to lose weight. Also, I apologize for not posting more but my life is busy right now. My main focus is finding a job! Since I'm driving now, I want to go and do EVERYTHING but little funds equals little fun!
God Bless guys and take care!
On a more exciting note my mother told me she looked at a picture of me from June 2009 and she couldn't believe her eyes. She said she can see my weight loss from eight months ago. That was very exciting to hear! My mom always encouraged me to lose weight as an adult. When I was a kid she didn't know how to handle me because I was bigger than my older sister. I wasn't fat I was just two sizes bigger than her. When my mother and father got married, my mother was tiny. My oldest sister, being my parents first child, inherited my mother's tiny waistline. I, on the other hand, inherited my father's expanding waistline and appetite. My theory is that my mother, not being a big girl, didn't know how to handle a big girl so sometimes she said hurtful things to me regarding my weight as a child. One day I told my mother, if a person doesn't like the way I look then they can close their eyes. I was lucky she didn't knock my teeth out! LOL I've always been a big girl but I'm not ashamed of who I am or what I look like. I've never been one of those women on TV crying because I never had a boyfriend or had trouble in school because of my weight. I have a BIG mouth and always said what I was thinking and if someone would hint at my weight, they would get the wrath of Zipporah all over them! So, I wasn't bullied or picked on in school because I would hurt you if you cross the line. Also, despite what society says about fat people, I know I'm beautiful. Not on the inside only and not from the neck up. Every part of is beautiful. Every roll, strech mark and even the cellulite on my thighs. It's funny because I remember thinking like this when I grew up but somewhere down the line, I forgot how I accepted myself and didn't care about what people thought. As I got older I became too concerned with people's feeling and placed their feelings over me. Wow! I can't believe I'm just realizing the situation I placed myself in. Anyway, I off on a tangent, which I always do, but make sure you are proud of yourself no matter how you look or how big or small you are. Oh and if someone doens't like the way you look and they choose the verbilize it, make sure you turn around, wind up your fist and punch them right in their mouth! LOL
Anyway, a few weeks ago I read about a website called sparkpeople.com. It's a way of tracking your food intake and excerise habits. It's like Weight Watchers except it's free! Yup, FREE. Before I blogged about sparkpeople.com, I wanted to test it out for a few weeks. I'm approching my third week and let me tell you it's a real eye-opener. I've tracked my food for two weeks not and I see why I'm stuck going up and down 2 pounds. I eat too much! Yes, I already knew I ate too much but to see it on paper (or on the computer screen) has a disterbing effect on me. I see now why I got to be over 300 pound in my 31 years on God's great Earth. Sparkpeople gives you weekly goals: calorie, fitness, reading, etc., and you have to reach those goals on a daily, weekly and yearly basis. Well, I can't stay within my goals because I eat food that are too high in calories. Here is a typically day for me.
This blog is way too long so I need to shut up now. Check out http://www.sparkpeople.com/ and see if you like it. It's really easy and you will get to know yourself a little better while trying to lose weight. Also, I apologize for not posting more but my life is busy right now. My main focus is finding a job! Since I'm driving now, I want to go and do EVERYTHING but little funds equals little fun!
God Bless guys and take care!
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Day 77-80 Self Destruction
Last week, I had to walk to pick my nephews up from school. My three nephews go to three different schools and only one of them get bused. Anyway, my oldest nephew's school is 1.5 miles away from my apartment. At first I was upset because I had to walk to get him when I typically would drive but then I thought it would be good exercise. After I picked up my first nephew, I picked up my second nephew from his school, which is only down the street from my apartment. By the time I got back home, I walked for two hours! I thought what a good workout. I got the more exercise that day than I have in a while. I thought it was awesome the amount of exercise I got in that day. I remember thinking I should watch what I eat but that thought was a passing thought.
I can't remember what I had for dinner that night but I know I pigged out on a lot of junk food. While I was stuffing my face with one good tasting sweet treat after the other, I realized I was purposely over eating and I didn't want to stop. That's right, I didn't want to stop eating my good junk food. I know my behavior and eating habits are destructive but I still continue to do it. I'm like Paul in Bible where he speaks of the bad things he does because he was born in sin, Roman 7:14:
You may not think it's that serious but indeed it is. I know what eating well and exercising will do for me but the old me constantly creeps up cheering me on to eat badly. Don't get me wrong, I love the way I look in my clothes. They are starting to fall off me and I'm loving it and I'm going to continue to lose weight until all this weight is gone. It's just a struggle. A really tough struggle and that's why I realized the 100 pounds in 100 days plan won't work. I have to continue to fight until the good side of me has won but I feel as if I'm running out of time. If you've read my earlier blogs, you know why I'm focused on losing weight but it seams as if it's not enough or maybe I'm lazier than I thought. I mean, the second month of the year is almost gone and still nothing. God, help me because I can't keep playing the monthly guessing game. Man, I'm so mad at myself for not giving this journey my 100 percent!
I can't remember what I had for dinner that night but I know I pigged out on a lot of junk food. While I was stuffing my face with one good tasting sweet treat after the other, I realized I was purposely over eating and I didn't want to stop. That's right, I didn't want to stop eating my good junk food. I know my behavior and eating habits are destructive but I still continue to do it. I'm like Paul in Bible where he speaks of the bad things he does because he was born in sin, Roman 7:14:
14 We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin.
15 I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.
16 And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good.
17 As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me.
18 For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out.
19 For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing.
20 Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.
21 So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me.
22 For in my inner being I delight in God’s law;
23 but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me.
24 What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death?
25 Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!
So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God’s law, but in my sinful nature a slave to the law of sin.
You may not think it's that serious but indeed it is. I know what eating well and exercising will do for me but the old me constantly creeps up cheering me on to eat badly. Don't get me wrong, I love the way I look in my clothes. They are starting to fall off me and I'm loving it and I'm going to continue to lose weight until all this weight is gone. It's just a struggle. A really tough struggle and that's why I realized the 100 pounds in 100 days plan won't work. I have to continue to fight until the good side of me has won but I feel as if I'm running out of time. If you've read my earlier blogs, you know why I'm focused on losing weight but it seams as if it's not enough or maybe I'm lazier than I thought. I mean, the second month of the year is almost gone and still nothing. God, help me because I can't keep playing the monthly guessing game. Man, I'm so mad at myself for not giving this journey my 100 percent!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)