I can't remember what I had for dinner that night but I know I pigged out on a lot of junk food. While I was stuffing my face with one good tasting sweet treat after the other, I realized I was purposely over eating and I didn't want to stop. That's right, I didn't want to stop eating my good junk food. I know my behavior and eating habits are destructive but I still continue to do it. I'm like Paul in Bible where he speaks of the bad things he does because he was born in sin, Roman 7:14:
You may not think it's that serious but indeed it is. I know what eating well and exercising will do for me but the old me constantly creeps up cheering me on to eat badly. Don't get me wrong, I love the way I look in my clothes. They are starting to fall off me and I'm loving it and I'm going to continue to lose weight until all this weight is gone. It's just a struggle. A really tough struggle and that's why I realized the 100 pounds in 100 days plan won't work. I have to continue to fight until the good side of me has won but I feel as if I'm running out of time. If you've read my earlier blogs, you know why I'm focused on losing weight but it seams as if it's not enough or maybe I'm lazier than I thought. I mean, the second month of the year is almost gone and still nothing. God, help me because I can't keep playing the monthly guessing game. Man, I'm so mad at myself for not giving this journey my 100 percent!